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I’m not going to lie that to go from this view….

to this view…..

has been a bit of a shock to the system. Pounding the hard pavements of London today for Fashion Week has left me in a slight daze but I will do my best to keep you up to date on what I’m going to. With seven shows completed today and eight shows tomorrow expect more of a detailed update on Sunday. I’ve enjoyed the sunshine, the Greek salads and even the ouzo, but honey, it’s good to be home.

MET Gala 2012 The Bad……

It can only start with Anja Rubik in Anthony Vaccarello. If you haven’t seen coverage of that hip bone then you must have been hiding under a rock. For me it’s totally awful and tasteless. It’s not sexy milky curves, it’s an incredibly thin model whose hip bone probably comes under Unicef protection for abuse against humanity. This isn’t clever draping that looks as if it’s defying gravity holding onto the  body, this piece of fabric is holding on for dear life!

Sarah Jessica Parker in Valentino. I commented on this during Fashion Week season and let it be known again that current Valentino hurts my soul! This dress is matronly, sugary, shiny and frankly downright ugly. The two gold cuffs are bizarre extras that seem to have no place with the virginal nightgown. And is that a matching shoe???

Kristen Stewart in Balenciaga. Do you think she got out of her car and thought ‘Doh, I thought I was turning up to some edgy premiere, not Anna Wintour’s fashion castle’ and the shoes look like bandaged Egyptian mummy feet. Considering people are claiming her a No 1 best dressed on numerous magazine lists, for me this is a major backwards step.

Diane Kruger in Prada. I expect so much more from her; even if I don’t always like her fashion choices, they are at least high quality choices. This is a hippy slip dress with a big feather boa crawling round the hem. If you put your hand over the bottom half it looks like a perfectly average strappy top with a boho necklace and if you put your hand over the top half you have an over-played Ginger Rogers’ night dress. Together this does not work. Lovely colour though.

Jessica Chastain in Louis Vuitton. I don’t know why Jessica seems to like to dress like a much older version of herself. She looks like a trussed up bird in this dress and it’s not at all flattering to her figure with the line across the hip causing it to bulge. I do like the super sexy bodice and if only it was tailored onto a really tight skirt in much better quality fabric it would look so much less wagon trail.  Also this is the perfect example of where Hollywood hair doesn’t work and ages the look.

Emma Stone in Lanvin. This was custom made, CUSTOM MADE, and this is what they came up with? Her face says it all, it’s a grin-and-bear-it dress and the fact that there are paparazzi pictures floating around of this dress ripping in the car highlights even further that it was not fit for purpose. It’s far too girly and frilly and winsome and the hair is also very prom. Awful.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Prada. How unflattering is this on her legs? Surely no one does Tracy Anderson as religiously as she does in order to make her legs look bad in a dress? The side boob is not sexy and frankly isn’t necessary;  she’s just trying too hard. With the dipping hem, the frill and the racer front, this all looks as if it’s been cobbled together with no clear design direction.

Coco Rocha in vintage Givenchy. Yes, I know it was Elizabeth Taylor’s but that doesn’t mean it works for you, Coco. The dipped dyed hair is an affront to the house of Givenchy, Liz Taylor and the MET ball. This look is so mainstream now; as a top model you really should be ahead of the game not going with a trend that’s on the high street. I also think the pink top and pink ballet style shoes are so wrong and practically make a mockery of it. A black skirt would have looked so much cooler and some edgy shoes would have made this auction piece the real deal.

Jessica Alba in Michael Kors. Little to say on this bar that I expect so much more from her and putting hair on the opposite shoulder to the one shouldered dress is so lame.

Lily Collins in….. one guess, its dowdy, floral…. and yup, it’s Valentino. How any young girl would pick this off the rack as the perfect dress is beyond me. How any stylist would call in this dress for a young actress is beyond me too, and the fact that no one said that this is old, dull, fussy and prim is the final straw!

Claire Danes in J Mendel. I don’t want to Danes bash because, like everyone else, I think she’s amazing in Homeland.  Aside from the fact that she seems to like wearing white on the red carpet, this dress does not work for her proportionally. She is pretty short and this low wrap makes her look unnecessarily dumpy and heavy around the thigh. The dark roots in the hair really shouldn’t be there and I also think the whole look needs coloured jewellery to lift it. Can’t wait for season 2 though!

And finally Marc Jacobs in.. .. oh, who cares. I find this incredibly try-hard-to-be-noticed, unimaginative and frankly pretty childish.  And it doesn’t even look good. Yawn.

Source: Zimbio

Suite Views

We had a beautiful day of weather on Monday and I was lucky enough to be able to see the whole of London bleached in spring sunlight from the top of a hotel. I was on a shoot for a European publication, sorry for the elusiveness on names, places etc, but as ever, it’s all hush hush pre publication. Amazing location in a penthouse, incredible weather, some Alaia shoes I would die for and Valentino straight from Paris. Not bad for a day’s work!

Warming those Toes

I went to Mou boots’ Winter Tea event on Tuesday to look at their new season styles and to meet the founder Shelley Tichborne, who was exceptionally nice and I enjoyed chatting to her. Although the weather in London hasn’t quite turned cold enough yet, these warm and luxurious boots will be a must in the colder months.The word mou comes from the French adjective meaning soft to touch, and these boots do feel amazing on, as if you’ve got your duvet wrapped around your feet.

Has SJP lost her USP?

I know that making negative comments about Sarah Jessica Parker’s style credentails is pretty close to blasphemy in some fashion corners but in my opinion the pretty minimal fashion cred she had anyway seems to have vanished over recent months. I display below some genuine shockers from a woman people call a style icon.

First up: this dress is an abomination. I think bows under the bust line should not be worn by anyone over five, the material looks heavy and over-starched, and the colour of the bodice is not at all flattering to her skintone. There is what looks like a hair twist around her wrist and the whole thing is finished off with a pair of totally unremarkable shoes.

Wow, is really all I can muster. Philip Treacy’s extravagant creation is not meant for someone so small nor for indoor wear.   This is not a case of ‘oh, that’s high fashion’, or ‘oh, that’s a concept hat’, it’s just bizarre head gear for an interview where the shadow over her face is comical and distracting rather than mysterious.  This is ridiculous.

Who doesn’t love a fluorescent yellow dress with dirty blonde hair? Not I. Let’s work up: yet another dull pair of shoes and made even worse by being white. Liz Hurley wears white shoes, that’s all you need to know about their fashion status. Do I need to remind SJP that any fashion designer in the world would kill to have her wear their shoes but she chose these! Then the acid colours of the dress, the drawstring waist, another hair twist bracelet and all finished off with what look like cheap plastic beads in baby blue…

This is another treat. Her make-up and hair are ok but oh, the clothes. This is jumped up nightwear. The awful frilly uneven hem looks cheap and tacky and the dress, which does nothing for her figure, is covered by an oversized dressing gown/jumper/coat thing. The jewellry is a random pick from the miscellaneous drawer, and then, hello lover, there are those shoes again.

Tacky bridesmaid? Slutty mother in law? Either way it’s awful. Just gaze in sheer amazement and ask yourself how a grown up woman could really leave the house looking like this. The dress is white lace, with both an asymmetrical neckline and an asymmetrical hem, and there is no help from the accessories either, with the little hippy wristbands, that horrible Carrie-esque flower throwback and the nasty short necklace with a beige metal trim bag. It hurts my professional stylist’s insides.

Ah, the classic combo of  jumper and skirt but wait, why does she look so uncomfortable? Is it because that burnt orange colour does nothing for her, or that she matched her bra to her cuffs, or that she borrowed the skirt from a colourful libriarian, or perhaps it’s that her hair is eating her shoulders?

This season was all about mixing bright block colours and it’s not so much that I don’t like this clashing mix but that it is TOTALLY unacceptable of any stylist/assistant/SJP herself to have put white shoes with this outfit. It immediately takes it to Saturday Night Fever territory, which is not a good way to go.

I am a great believer in not being too ageist when it comes to clothing styles or lengths, but honestly, has SJP forgotten that she left pre school about forty years ago? And that in fact this really isn’t a dress for any age, because it truly is so nasty.  Again she’s gone with studs and a short necklace which is boring and ageing, but hurray, at least the shoes are a little better.

We come to the end of these fashion faultlines with a truly stand out performer. We’ve already had the trampy white lace dress above;  this is its ugly sister. Note the horrible uneven hemline again and the old fashioned frill across the bust line. The slit tries to make it sexy but just increases the idea that her mother made it from her lace curtains.

Press Days

There have been lots of press days this week and I thought I’d bring you some highlights. The first was Aquascutum’s press day which was held at The Ivy in London. To enter the press room you had to go up one of the most amazing lifts I’ve ever been in: it was clear glass on all sides with beautifullly engraved geometric patterns and it went up inside a glass shaft and had a door that swung outwards as if to announce your arrival. Anyway…back to the clothes.  As one would expect from Aquascutum the quality was high and luxury abounded, with lots of whites and camels in loose flattering shapes and some lovely lightweight jackets. Definitely a wardrobe for the travelling woman who has business meetings to run by day and cocktail hours to grace by night. Lovely.

People Watching at LFW

There is always time to people-watch as you queue for shows and some very extrovert, colourful, black, odd, dull, twisted, overthought, under-worn, stylish things walk by you. So here are some of the good, the bad and the the rest, by no means a collection of my taste but it’s fun to look and pass gentle judgment.

With these Shoes I thee Wed

These Alexander McQueen shoes are pretty ‘major’.  As always with most of the desirable things on net-a-porter they sure ain’t cheap at £2,095. One of my best friends is getting married this August and wow, wouldn’t these be some wedding shoes, and I wasn’t thinking primarily of the bride. They are very dramatic and would demand a definite talent for walking in heels. Made of sculpted resin and leather, these ‘sandals’ have the great virtue of being chunky yet highly feminine. A high concept shoe that would quite literally elevate any outfit.

Source: Net-a-Porter.com

Play that Dune

I worked as the assistant on this spring campaign and now it’s officially in Dune windows and online.  I loved the Bridget Bardot feel, all the great block colours and the stagey cutouts used for the set.  The photos below are from the Dune website with the exception of the last two, which I took on my Blackberry outside their shop in Covent Garden.

The Met Ball 2011

This year’s Met Ball was an homage to Alexander McQueen, in connection with the much anticipated ‘Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty’  exhibition which opens at the MET in NYC tomorrow (until 31st July).   I’m hoping to see it when I’m over there in a couple of weeks time. Some years I feel there is more to criticize than compliment at the Met Ball, but this year I’m going to overlook all the faux pas and nearly misses to concentrate on the good selection of people who got it right.

First then, Liv Tyler in Givenchy. Does anyone look bad in couture Givenchy? I’ve yet to see it. Even though this is an incredibly elegant, oragami, feathered Ricardo Tisci invention, the ultimate in design and couture,  she carries it off as if this dress was custom made for her.  And I love the simple uber glossy hair.

Amber Valletta in Stella McCartney. Stella dressed a surprisingly large number of the A-listers last night and I thought this stood out as one of the best. I love the peacock feather pattern framing the hem of the bodice against the plain skirt. It’s simple but super elegant and I love the big statement earrings. It’s a far cry from Stella’s last questionable  lemons and oranges collection.

Beyonce, in figure hugging Emilio Pucci. Now she is all woman. It is a pretty full on look with the high collar and I think she carries it off, firstly because of her amazingly curvy body, but also because of the smile. If she’d been too pouty and with big hair it would have made it far too much. I love the extra lace on the cleavage.

Blake Lively in Chanel. She looks amazing, there really is no if, but or maybe about it. I think the darker almost strawberry blonde hair really suits her and this dress shows off her enviable figure. The draping is beautifully subtle and I love the nude bodice with the delicate silver embroidery.

Brooklyn Decker in Michael Kors. It’s bright, very bright, but she looks young and fresh . Her shorter hair suits her so much better and makes her stand out amongst the usual blonde-extensioned swim wear models. I love the fact that the shoes are nude so that they look like her legs just continue to the floor. Great cocktails rings with a good smallish bag makes the whole outfit one of my favourite; simple elegance.

Christina Ricci in Zac Posen. This dress is really quite something. It’s slightly corpse bride but at the same time delicate and intricate like a line drawing. The insane sculpting on it makes it spectacular, though it’s a shame about the jutting hip bones. It’s totally different from what I’d normally expect Posen to do, and although it does reference his more familiar pleating and homage to a woman’s figure, it’s dark beauty definitely moves it into Alexander McQueen territory.

Daphne Guinness in Alexander McQueen. Well she would, wouldn’t she? One of the few woman who doesn’t get over powered by a Big Bird’s date night outfit, although she shouldn’t have worn the tights! This really is an incredible piece of artistry, with its beautiful lilac colour and dramatic silhouette.

Diane Kruger in Jason Wu. Her eclectic style can be hit and miss for me, but this is beautiful. She looks like  a sexy grown up woman, the slit is pretty damn high but with long sleeves and a high neck she can get away with it. I like the Veronica Lake hair and the red lips. It looks effortless which is one of the qualities of great style.

Doutzen Kroes in Giambattista Valli. It’s big and red and I love it. Yes, it blends a little into the carpet but I love how it relies totally on the shape and the girl inside it to carry it off. Despite its huge train this is suprisingly simple but many an actress or model would easily get swallowed up in the red mist. I  love that there are no accessories and the hair and make-up are kept simple.

Ginnifer Goodwin suprisingly in Topshop. It’s quite a look but I think it works for her and, although I think this can go either way as a description but here it’s meant as a compliment, it’s because she’s kooky. I love her pixie hair cut and the super strong blue eye makeup. The dress is stunning colour and although I think the ruched sides would be widening on most people she seems to carry it well. I love the turquoise and green necklace; I think I want that more than the dress and shoes!

Karolina K in Jean Paul Gaultier. She’s a model therefore she can get away with looks like this. It’s interesting, it’s different, it requires time to take in all the details from the lace straps, the feather hand bracelet to the messy bun. Top model, top look.

Leighton Meester in Louis Vuitton. I’m on the fence but I wanted to give her some marks for trying. Although I think full length is needed for the MET ball, this is something a bit alternative. She always trys different looks out and I’ve seen photos taken from varying angles where it looks great and where it really doesn’t. Maybe if she’d gone for large coloured jewellery, bigger hair and some other shoe, but somehow the sleek hair and diamond earrings bring it away from high fashion.

Michelle Williams in custom made Miu Miu and it’s another that I love. Since Miu Miu and Erdem used lots of swallow motifs a couple of seasons ago they have become a much seen symbol. Here I love the way the birds catch the light on this grown up and sexy dress.  Her hair is just right for it too, she looks so great with it short.

Rachel Wood in Gucci. Burgundy, dark purple, aubergine,whatever you want to call, it is one of my favourite colours. It looks amazing against her white skin and I love the double layers over the bust and the hint of grey sparkle. Gothic and feminine and sensuous.

Shalom Harlow in Marchesa. Only a 5’11 plus model could handle this typically Marchesa dress, with its strong silhouette and curving fabric lines. It looks both structured and fluid as water. I like the small detail  of the feather covering her parting.

Sarah Jessica Parker in Alexander McQueen. The hair is a little full on, slightly too Dallas and hard. But wow, the dress is stunning, with its incredible beading detail and great body-framing seaming. Incidentally, I also love the white number with the yellow sleeves just to the side of her.

Vera Wang in, shockingly, Vera Wang. Although she is painfully thin, I love the colour and the pleating that goes all the way down the front; it looks bohemian and yet chic. I also like the grecian leafed headdress.

PictureSource: Zimbio